What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
