I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
