i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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