Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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