maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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