My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
