I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
