Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
