Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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