the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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