She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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