I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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