woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
