This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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