from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
