Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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