So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
