He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
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Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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