thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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