Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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