I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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