I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
