Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I stole a fireplace last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
