you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
