We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
