i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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