I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You've created a tinder dominating monster.