Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
