So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?