Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm determined to sit on that face.