He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize