I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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