He is such a slut. More and more my type.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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