i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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