there's paper in my vomit.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
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I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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