he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I had to cum in my sink.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
