i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just forgot I was standing up.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
