bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
