I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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