dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
