Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
