is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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