I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
A+ Viking dick
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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