I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
