You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
