it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
