last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
