She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Less talking, more tequila
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize