You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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