Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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