im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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