Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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