Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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