I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
