Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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