Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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