dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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