At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
