I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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