I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize