reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
