she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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