Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
