I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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