well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
