Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
